451

I can't make any good excuses as to why I haven't blogged since New Years. In the same way, I can't really make any promises about future blogging. Mostly, I'm just going to pretend like I've never left. Most everyone has stopped reading blogs so even if I write every day, it will be a very long time before anyone finds out about it. Blogging is a sign of our changing times. We get older, we graduate, we date, we make mistakes, and with our changing temperments and ever-changing life situations we change how we deal with the life God has given us to lead. That year when we all wrote all the time, I guess that was just how we dealt with who we were. Now, we are different people and so many of us have moved on from writing out our thoughts and sending them into the abyss for a grand total of, maybe 10 readers to enjoy, or suffer through, whatever the case may be. It's not that important but I guess it is because it means we've changed.

Anyways, I was thinking about this change today and I asked myself a lot of questions. How have I changed? Do I like who I've become? Etc. I could answer a lot more of these questions with definite answers than you would think. I probably thought the most about how I want to be perceived and about what I want those who love me to remember. This was all brought on by one little sentence out of Fahrenheit 451 which I finally read this week. "It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away."

I guess I was just thinking a lot about whether or not that's true. As a Christian, I am taught to be very humble and I think we take that to the extreme so very often. But then I was thinking about how we are all God's children, I mean, the phrase "God doesn't make junk." comes to mind. As teenagers we all start to think, am I going to be remembered, am I important. As we grow up, in one hand we hold a note saying "Go conquer the world!" and in the other hand a note saying "Remember you're just one person." Simultaneoulsy we are taught to love and loathe ourselves for the same reason; because we are human.

When it comes down to it, our perception of ourselves, or at least, my perception of myself, tends to be all wrong. We are not servants, groveling at the feet of a master we can never understand. Instead, we are powerful tools in the hands of a loving God. He could have saved the world on His own, but instead, He sends us out. We go with words and actions and a strength that we can't even comprehend. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I don't know, just something to think about.